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The 10-second silence that helps kids talk
💡 Pausing 5–10 seconds with an expectant look — and resisting the urge to fill the silence — gives kids the time they need to communicate on their own.
When we ask a child something — "Do you want juice?" — most adults wait barely one to two seconds before jumping in to repeat, rephrase, or answer for them. But many children, especially those who process language slowly, are learning to talk, or use an AAC device, simply need more time to hear the words, form a thought, and get their body to respond. Filling that silence robs them of the chance to try.
Expectant waiting (often called wait time) is the deceptively simple therapy tool of pausing — a full 5 to 10 seconds or more — while leaning in with a warm, expectant look and raised eyebrows. Your face says "I'm listening, take your time." That pause isn't empty: it's the child's turn. Speech and OT therapists use it constantly because it shifts communication from adult-led to child-initiated.
A key part is not adding more words during the wait. Repeating or rephrasing ("Juice? Do you want some? Are you thirsty?") actually restarts the child's processing each time, so the countdown never finishes. Silence feels awkward to us, but to a child who needs extra beats, it's exactly the room they've been waiting for.