Decide to be happy — no matter what

Singer poses a life-defining question: do you want to be happy? Not conditionally — 'happy if things go my way' — but unconditionally, no matter what happens. Most people answer yes, then immediately hand their happiness to circumstances, other people, and outcomes they can't control.

His alternative is unconditional happiness: a standing commitment that you will remain open and at peace regardless of what life brings. This isn't denial or forced positivity — it's refusing to close your heart as your default response, even when things go wrong. When you notice yourself starting to shut down, you use that moment to relax and stay open rather than making your inner state a hostage to events.

Singer argues this single decision quietly reorganizes your entire life. Once your well-being no longer depends on controlling reality, you stop clinging and defending — and paradoxically, you become far more capable of engaging with life fully, because you're no longer terrified of it.